I’ve managed to keep many of blogs positive in tone but one of my blogs this week had a very negative tone instead. Since then I’ve been thinking about how to deal with it. I started this blog with numerous intentions but one of my most important was to spread a positive message. I don’t want Claire’s memory dampened by the negative emotions surrounding her death. I want her memory to be surrounded by messages of joy.
But, at the same time, I do have to recognize that I am human and part of being human is feel depressed by grief. The human part of my grieves and feels pain, while the faithful and Christian part of me recognizes that in death there can also be beauty because Claire is in heaven. She is being taken care of by God and when she passed I entrusted her into his care.
I have decided not to make any changes to the post because it is what it is- a real description of the pain that I was feeling in that moment and writing it helped me release that pain. Focusing on the positive takes effort and that is difficult because grief steals my energy. I’ll have bad days, worse days and terrible days. But- I will also have happy days, beautiful days and wonderful days. I can’t have the latter unless I focus on the good and as always I remember Claire because she exemplifies goodness as only an angel could.
